Sleepless Nights
by Settiai
Summary: He'd always assumed coming home would be different. :: Gojyo/Goku/Hakkai


**Author's Note:** This story, in its original incarnation, was rated NC-17. I've edited it down to an R to be posted here on the Pit of Voles, but it can be found in its entirety on my fanfiction website. A link to the site can be found on my homepage, which is listed on my profile.

* * *

Goku couldn't sleep.

Sighing, he rolled over for the third time in as many minutes. After almost four years of traveling, never spending more than a night or two in the same place, it didn't feel right to sleep in the same bed for almost a month. He was restless and frustrated but at the same time completely exhausted.

_"Go to sleep then, you stupid monkey."_

"Sanzo?" Goku sat up with a jerk, looking wildly around the dim room. The full moon shining through the window provided just enough light to see that no one was there.e

Goku's face fell as he laughed self-deprecatingly. "Of course he's not here," he muttered, sinking back down into his bed. "I'm imagining things again."

He rested there a few minutes, propped up on his elbows. Through the small window he could see lightning flashing in the distance and hear the quiet rolls of thunder steadily becoming louder. It was going to rain soon; probably storm.

Goku shivered.

Without stopping to think, he slid out of bed and started toward the door. The floor felt cold under his bare feet, and the air felt the same against his chest. Winter was coming. The leaves had almost all fallen from the trees, and those that remained had lost their bright colors and were turning brown. Hakkai said they'd probably see the first snow of the season within a month's time.

Snow. He'd been so afraid of it, once upon a time. It had brought back so many memories, none of them good. But now . . . now he thought it would bring back happy memories. Well, happier ones.

Sanzo's face flashed in Goku's mind. A hand reaching for his, breaking the bonds that were holding him. Purple eyes, unreadable at first glance, staring back at him. He'd heard Goku's calls and came searching for him.

No matter what Gojyo and Hakkai said, Goku knew that Sanzo wasn't gone. Not completely. Not forever. They hadn't been there at the very end, when Kanzeon Bosatsu appeared. Sie looked exactly the same as sie had all those years ago, when their journey west had only just begun. Shaking hir head, sie looked around at the aftermath—the blood, the flames, the ruined remains of magic and technology—and shook hir head.

Goku would never forget the look on hir face when sie saw Sanzo. Sie sighed, muttering about someone named Konzen Douji—and why was that name so achingly familiar?—before turning to Goku.

_"You've already found him twice, young one. I'm certain your paths will cross again."_

A flash of memory popped into Goku's head and he froze mid-step, only a step away from the door. Sanzo, but not Sanzo. His hair was too long, his clothing all wrong. _Konzen? Why did he know that name?_ The memory disappeared almost as quickly as it came, leaving nothing but a momentary feeling of bewilderment. That was happening more and more recently, and it unnerved him every time. He'd been content not knowing. He wasn't sure he wanted to remember.

Shaking his head, trying to brush away the feeling that there was something he needed to remember, Goku reached out and grabbed the doorknob. He quietly pushed the door open enough for him to slip through, careful not to open it all the way. It squeaked if it was opened more than halfway. While it wasn't a problem during the day, at night the sound seemed to echo like a gunshot through the silent house.

Doing his best not to make any noise, Goku crept the hallway. The house was so still that his footsteps practically echoed, each step sounding like a slap from Sanzo's fan, and he knew that meant Gojyo and Hakkai were both asleep. Or, at least, they were lying in bed lost in thought like he had been.

He wouldn't know which until he looked.

Goku hesitated in front of the door to their room, his hand hovering over the doorknob. Then he grabbed it and turned, hurriedly before he could change his mind. He softly pushed it open enough to slip in, pausing just inside.

Gojyo and Hakkai were asleep, each curled comfortably around the other. Hakkai barely took up any of the bed. He was on his side, facing Gojyo, with one of his hands loosely gripping a handful of red hair. Gojyo, on the other hand, sprawled out, taking up as much space as he possibly could. He'd thrown one of his arms around Hakkai, while the other rested on his own stomach. The blanket dipped low underneath his hand, revealing a trace of red hair trailing down toward his groin.

Both of them were shirtless, and Goku could see faint bruises on their skin. Round ones, obviously from their mouths. He smiled a bit, letting his imagination fill in the blanks. His smile faded after a few seconds, though, as he realized that they probably wouldn't be pleased if he woke them up in the middle of the night. There went that idea.

Goku silently sighed and turned around. Before he could slip out of the room again, someone behind him cleared his throat. "Did you need something, Goku?"

Surprised, he turned back around. Hakkai's eyes were open, and he propped himself on one arm to meet Goku's gaze. When Goku didn't reply, he cocked an eyebrow.

Goku shrugged. "I couldn't sleep," he said sheepishly, suddenly aware of how childish his excuse sounded.

"Ah." Hakkai smiled and gently patted the bed. "Come sit down."

Goku's eyes flickered over to where Gojyo was lying, apparently still asleep. "I don't want to wake him up," he said, frowning.

"Too late," Gojyo grumbled. He sat up, the blanket slipping down even further and removing any hint of modesty that he might have had. "You already woke me up, monkey boy. If you think I'm pissed now, wait and see what I'll be like if it was for no reason."

Goku felt a flash of irritation as he walked across the room. "Don't call me monkey boy," he said crossly. "I'm as old as the two of you were when we first started traveling west."

Gojyo started to reply and then paused, mouth hanging open slightly. Hakkai helpfully reached over and tapped it shut, earning a dirty look from Gojyo. As Goku dropped down on the foot of their bed, bringing his legs up under him, Gojyo's gaze transferred to him. His expression faded from annoyance to something else entirely.

"What?" Goku asked, blinking.

Gojyo tilted his head. "Oh nothing," he said, making a show of studying Goku's face. "I'm just trying to figure out when the brainless monkey grew up and turned into . . . well, an adult brainless monkey."

Goku glared at him.

"I'd say about two years ago," Hakkai said cheerfully. "Unless you still thought of him as a child the first time you had sex."

Both Gojyo and Goku turned to stare at him, blank expressions on their faces. Gojyo reached down and pulled the blanket up over his waist again, tugging nervously at it for a second.

"How the hell did you know about that?" Gojyo finally demanded, his blank look slowly turning into one that was a combination of amused, surprised, and annoyed.

Hakkai shook his head with an enigmatic smile as he took in their expressions. "You both talk in your sleep," he said simply.

Goku and Gojyo kept staring at him, their expressions proof that they weren't certain whether or not to believe him. They looked at each other. Gojyo raised an eyebrow, and Goku shrugged in silent reply.

Clucking his tongue, Hakkai motioned for Goku to crawl up between Gojyo and him. "I'm assuming you hoped we'd still be awake," he said lightly. "You were feeling lonely?"

Goku didn't quite meet his gaze.

Gojyo shook his head. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?" he asked. He grabbed Goku, pulling him close enough to press a hard kiss on his lips. As he pulled away, he smirked. "We would have asked you to join us earlier."

"Yeah well, I guess I'm a little too late now," Goku said with a weak smile.

Gojyo rolled his eyes. "It's not like we're old men or something. I think that Hakkai and I probably still have a little bit of action left in us."

Hakkai chuckled. Gojyo sank down, tugging at Goku's thin pants. They slid off without much effort, and Goku tugged them from Goyjo's hands in order to toss them across the room. He grinned when they landed on the back of a chair, exactly where he'd aimed, but he didn't get a chance to brag before Gojyo had lowered himself so that his mouth was below Goku's waist.

Goku moaned as Gojyo's tongue flicked over him, just enough to tease. His head arched back slightly, his eyes closing for a moment.

They flew open again when he felt warm lips on his neck.

Hakkai pulled away from his neck when he glanced down, smiling a bit. Then, without saying a word, he moved down to Goku's chest. He kissed his nipples, scraping them slightly with his teeth in the process. Goku felt all of his tension and stress disappear.

Gojyo's were slow and methodical, so completely unlike his usual self that it was jarring. And it was driving Goku crazy.

"Hurry up," Goku moaned.

Goku felt a strange sensation, and it wasn't until Gojyo pulled away for a moment that he realized it was because he was laughing. "Patience is a virtue," Gojyo said teasingly before taking returning to what he'd been doing.

Hakkai pulled his mouth away from Goku long enough to nip Gojyo's ear. "You aren't one to talk about virtues," he said breathily.

Gojyo suddenly started to suck harder, and Goku let out a pleasured moan. Hakkai pulled away from Gojyo and turned his attentions back to Goku, moving his lips and teeth back up to Goku's neck.

As Goku moaned in satisfaction, he felt completely spent.

Goku collapsed back against the bed, enraptured as Hakkai and Gojyo leaned over him to kiss. Hakkai's hand was on himself, steadily moving. To his surprise, Gojyo's hand rested on top of it, focusing on Hakkai rather than himself.

Propping himself up on one arm, Goku reached up and put his hand on Gojyo. He slowly began stroking. Gojyo let out a low moan of pleasure.

Goku grinned as he leaned forward, switching his hand for his mouth. He hesitated at first, until Gojyo reached and rested one of his hands in his hair. Taking that as a go-ahead, Goku took him deeper into his mouth and started to suck harder. Gojyo's grip tightened on his hair, and judging by Hakkai's loud moan Goku imagined that his other hand had reacted similarly.

Hakkai let out another moan before sinking back down onto the bed, apparently pleased. Goku felt Gojyo's other hand rest on his shoulder, gripping his skin tightly. He gently nibbled a bit, tugging with his hand as he did.

Gojyo jerked, and Goku swallowed the salty fluid that suddenly filled his mouth. Then he coughed, grimacing slightly at the taste as he sank back down against the sheets. Hakkai chuckled while Gojyo threw back his head and laughed.

"Shut up," Goku muttered, smiling sheepishly at his reaction.

None of them moved for several minutes. They lay there in a comfortable silence, breathing heavily and listening to the cold wind blowing outside. A flash of something popped into Goku's mind. Hakkai with hair that was much too long and glasses instead of a monocle. Gojyo with hair that was black instead of blood red, chopped short. Was that a chakra on his forehead? _Kenren. Tenpou. _"_Ah, so you've met my husband."_ Another flash, this time of the Sanzo but not Sanzo from earlier. _Konzen_.

Goku shuddered. He had a bad feeling, like he didn't _want_ to remember. There was something bad there, trapped in his memories. After five hundred years, maybe it was best to let it stay forgotten.

"Yo, monkey. Is something wrong?" Gojyo asked, reaching over to punch him in the arm.

Only years of practice and experience kept Goku from showing how startled he was. He managed to keep his face from showing worry as he glanced over at Gojyo. "Not with me," he shot back, his mouth twisting up a bit at the corners. "Is there something wrong with you?"

Hakkai sighed, cutting their light-hearted argument off before it could even begin.

Outside the window, lightning flashed. The thunder that had been so quiet and distant earlier was much closer, though not quite near enough to shake the house. Not yet.

"There's a storm coming," Hakkai said softly. When Goku glanced over at him, he could see the hooded look appearing in his eyes and the faintest traces of bad memories already pushing into the forefront of his mind.

Gojyo reached around Goku and rested his hand on Hakkai's shoulder. Goku looked up, hesitating a bit before he reached out and rested his own hand on Hakkai's leg.

Then he gave him a reassuring smile.

* * *

Goku woke up slowly, comfortably warm with Gojyo and Hakkai on each side of him. He remained there a moment, breathing shallowly and trying his best not to move. Sunlight streamed through the window; the storm was finally over.

He sighed contentedly.

Then he let out a strangled cry as Gojyo immediately sat up. "I thought you would never wake up," Gojyo said, rolling his neck to work out the kinks.

Groaning, Goku rolled over to face Hakkai. He was smiling, his green eyes open. "Not you too," Goku groused. "Why didn't you just go ahead and get up?"

Gojyo reached down and flicked Goku's forehead with two of his fingers. "Where's the fun in that?"

"Gojyo," Hakkai admonished. He pushed himself up into a sitting position, and Goku reluctantly followed. "Don't tease him."

"Who's teasing?" Gojyo asked dryly.

Shaking his head, Hakkai turned his attention toward Goku. His smile faded as he studied Goku's face. "Is something the matter?"

Gojyo turned his attention toward Goku as well.

Goku glanced between the two of them, an uncomfortable look on his face. "It's just weird, you now," he said, shrugging a bit. His gaze dropped to his hands. "I just thought it would be different, coming home. I always assumed I'd go back to the temple with Sanzo, and the two of you would come back here. Then everything would go back to like it was before we started west, except maybe we'd see each other a little more often. But that's not how it happened, is it?"

The speed of his talking increased with every word, until it was so fast that the words in the last sentence all seemed to run together. Goku kept his gaze focused firmly on his hands, not wanting to look up.

After several seconds had passed Hakkai finally reached out and placed his hand under Goku's chin, forcing him to look up and meet his gaze. "For now," he said firmly, "this is your home."

Goku bit his lip, unable to look away because of Hakkai's firm grip on his chin.

Gojyo slung his arm over Goku's shoulder, grinning as he ignoring his grumbled protests. "I'd just like to point out that technically it's my home," he said. "That means. . . ."

Hakkai pointedly cleared his throat, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Right." Gojyo's grin faded a bit. "Like Hakkai said, your home."

Goku shrugged off Gojyo's arm, managing to pull away from Hakkai's hand in the process. "How about we call it our home?" he suggested lightly.

Hakkai chuckled, while Gojyo just groaned. "Damn it, did you have to say that so seriously?" he complained. "And here I was starting to think you really were a man now."

Smiling a bit, Goku reached down and lifted up the blanket. He glanced underneath before looking back over at Gojyo, waggling his eyebrows a bit.

Gojyo just rolled his eyes. "You're not turning into a girl on me, are you?" he asked, poking Goku in the chest. "Not that I mind if you are, but I'd like some warning this time."

Goku swatted his hand away. "Very funny," he muttered, groaning. "And I thought you promised never to mention that again."

Gojyo snorted. "I promised Sanzo, not. . . ." He trailed off as he realized what he'd said. Hakkai shot him a tight look. "Sorry."

"It's okay," Goku said, his gaze dropping down to his hands again. He sat there a moment, staring at his interlocked fingers, before glancing up with a startled expression. "I really think it's okay."

Shaking his head, Gojyo reached out and lightly boxed him in the ears. "Stupid monkey."

"Idiot kappa," Goku shot back instinctively.

"Brainless ape."

"Perverted jerk!"

"Bottomless pit!"

Hakkai laughed as he slid out of bed and grabbed his pants from the floor. "On that note, I'll go start breakfast," he said, smiling. "Try not to kill each other."

Goku couldn't help but grin. Some things never changed.

"What the hell are you grinning at now, monkey boy?"

"Don't call me that!"

"Monkey boy, monkey boy. . . ."

Goku launched himself at Gojyo. He wasn't sure if he wanted to kill him or kiss him.

Either worked.


End file.
